Do you know:
- WHO you are?
- WHAT you want?
- WHY you want what you want?
Hi, I am Kitty Downer. I enjoy helping people to get to truly know WHO they are, WHAT they enjoy doing in life and understand the meaning and purpose of their lives, their WHY. I do that through one to one personal programme, group workshops and public seminars.
What is Authenticity?
Being authentic is about being you as you are, knowing:
WHO you truly are. Are you connected with yourself? Are you able to still confidently identify yourself when your job title is taken away? If the roles you have, such as a father/mother, wife/husband, brother/sister, have become less significant, would you still feel important and valued as you are?
WHAT you truly want. Are you clear what’s in your mind? Are the thoughts and beliefs you have yours or ingrained in you? Is what you think is important truly important in your life? Is what you think you want truly what you want?
WHY you want what you want. Do you have a sense of purpose or meaning in life? Do your heart and mind work together or against one another? Do you lean onto logic entirely or your gut feeling or a combination of both? Have you ever experienced what makes sense in your mind isn’t what you sense in your heart? And what you sense in your heart doesn’t always make sense in your mind?
Why is this important?
We all want a freeing and liberating life and, yet, this life seems to be so far away from our own reality. We feel trapped because of the bills that keep coming in. We feel lost because we know we don’t like what we do or have but don’t know to what and how we want to change. We then feel frustrated when we can’t even answer our very fundamental yet important question “What do I want to do with my life?”
The reason most people find that liberating and meaningful life so far-fetched is that they look for that from the external environment. Do you think if you have all the money you need to pay for all your future bills would give you a freeing life? Do you think you can truly find the answer to “What do I want?” by thinking and looking? Do you think you will connect with the meaning or purpose of your life when you don’t know Who you are and What you want?
With the world changing so fast, it has become even more paramount to be absolutely clear of your authenticity, i.e. You. It is only when you can stand firmly on the ground with your own feet will you be able to walk your path, let alone to deal with the constant changes around you.
The sense of liberating and meaningful life comes from within. When you are you, you can then master and lead your life with confidence and clarity. When you seek that from outside of you, you will find yourself being swept away current after current and frustration after frustration.
So what are the solutions?
The solution is to gain absolute clarity on your WHO, WHAT and WHY. You do so via a journey of self-discovery and reflection because
No one can tell you WHO you are.
No one can tell you WHAT you want.
No one can tell you WHY you want what you want.
The power of authenticity comes from self-discovering-self, hence the journey of self-discovery and reflection.
WHO – you need to differentiate your internal voice from the external noise. This is a crucial step because
WHO you are has an impact on What you do.
What you do doesn’t define or confine WHO you are.
WHAT – in order to know What you truly want, you need to, firstly and relentlessly, identify what you don’t want in life. Have you ever said to someone in a causal conversation “I would like to do that one day.” When, deep down, you know that one day will never come? This is one type of the clutters you need to be clear of.
WHY – to connect with your Why, you need to bridge your mind with your heart, i.e. to connect with your WHAT with the WHO.
The Code, a profound yet simple three-step framework that I developed, focuses on WHAT, the very 1st step of the journey.
1) DECODE – helps you see what is truly important from what you think is important.
2) ENCODE – shows you how to liberate yourself from a focus on limitation to a focus on possibility and opportunity.
3) RECODE – guides you to develop a personal plan to reinforce and sustain your transformation in this fast changing world we are in.
“Change”, “Transition” or Transformation” seems to be a prevailing theme in my life spent criss-crossing continents to live in Hong Kong, Kuala Lumpur, Los Angeles, Dubai, Bangkok, Chiangmai and now, Singapore for the 2nd time.
I am originally from Hong Kong; a girl from a humble background who worked her way up the corporate ladder and built a successful career centred on training and development. Life was fabulous then; I worked hard and partied hard, and enjoyed all the luxuries money could buy.
Then suddenly in 2002, a sense of restlessness took hold, growing stronger each day. Something inside me wanted more out of life. I needed more out of life. Rather than ignore that inner yearning, I decided to explore what was behind the discontent and it led me to delve into meditation and energy healing modalities. I then embarked on a spiritual journey to South America almost by chance, and had one of the most profound experiences of my life as the many spiritual rituals I encountered stripped away old layers of self and reconnected me with my most authentic inner being.
Something had clearly shifted within me during the trip and upon my return, I felt compelled to move to Los Angeles, although I didn’t understand why at the time. So I quit my corporate job, packed up my life and moved across the continents to LA, leaving the hard earned security and stable income behind. It wasn’t an easy decision but I knew I had to listen to my inner voice. Those 15 months in LA ended up transforming me on a deep, soul level.
Besides looking for a job that would enable me to stay on legally and financially, I spent hours and hours sitting on the beach reflecting about my life, aligning mind, body and spirit on a yoga mat, cruising if not speeding along the Pacific Coast Highway to clear my head and more hours just crying my eyes and heart out doubting myself and wondering “what am I doing here?”. It was a bittersweet experience that helped and forced me be absolutely clear with my mind and my heart, and how to have them work together to make the changes from the inside out. There was no room for any excuse or justification as it was my life and my dream on the line.
Then as soon as I felt it was time to move on from Los Angeles, an opportunity presented itself and I relocated to Dubai for a position back in the corporate world within a week. It was initially frustrating to say the least and it took me longer than expected to find my feet at work as I was the only woman at my level of seniority in the company and I had to endure the cold shoulder in many business meetings. Eventually, I came to enjoy every bit of my life in the Middle East.
Just as I was beginning to feel settled, life took a different direction again: I met my husband who was working in Hong Kong at the time. We tried the long distance relationship for a while before I moved back to my homeland to join him. By then, the corporate life no longer felt right again and so I became a qualified yoga instructor.
Then, my husband was posted to Bangkok and we relocated there. Just before the summer of 2014, he had quit his job and we were planning to move to Italy to start afresh. But once again, life had a different plan for us. I found out I was pregnant and felt torn about the news after the last problematic and traumatic pregnancy.
We moved to Singapore in December 2014 with no concrete plans for our future other than the knowledge that we had a good doctor who would bring our second child into the world. Up until now, we are still in Singapore and I have reinvented myself once more.
I am not a daring risk-taker by nature, and I never sought out major life changes for fun or even adventure. I just choose to follow my heart, instinct, gut or whatever you call it, however logical or illogical it may sometimes feel. And I know I am never able to lie to myself by denying my senses. And with the course of my own journey, I have learned to live and lead my life with a fine balance between my heart as well as my mind.
Why do I do what I do?
I have seen so many people having this constant battle between what makes sense in their minds versus what they sense in their hearts. Having gone through that battle so many times myself, from following my mind to climb the corporate ladder to listening and honouring my intuition to give it all up for new life in new city over and over again, I have come to learn and discover my WHO, WHAT and WHY in this battle and the power of authenticity.
Having helped hundreds of people connect with their authenticity by having their minds and their hearts work together, not against one another, I have seen how they have transformed their lives from the inside out. Knowing how painful and yet powerful this journey is, and having had help in my own journey, I want to work with those who can benefit from my learning and experience, to make a meaningful impact in the way I can, in their lives and in my life.
My solid corporate training background, coupled with all my life experiences, place me in a very unique position to facilitate your powerful and transformational journey of self-discovery and reflection through the changes you seek or may have been thrust upon you.
The reality is you can live a liberating and authentic life even when you don’t know it all.
The question is not about “What do you want to do with your life?”
The real question is “How would you like to live and remember your own life?”
More about me
In addition to being an author and speaker, I am a mother of two young children. I enjoy cooking and baking with them when at home and watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bank or Mary Poppins for the hundredth time. I love going out with my husband for a movie or try out different restaurants.
Being a qualified yoga instructor and having been practising yoga for over 16 years, I enjoy my self practice at home these days and my quiet time alone and meditation.